You know all this sudden economic crisis and financial recession was making me depressed and I wanted to let some steam out of my head. So, one fine afternoon in a coffee day, I caught up with my old friend and discussed 'the financial crisis and investment strategy'.
Me: Did you see the latest SENSEX rally in the stock exchange?
the woman: What !...they had SAME SEX rally in the stock exchange??? Did they show on TV?
Me: no no...S.E.N.S.E.X rally...you know one of the financial indicators in India.
the woman: oh .. he he..of course i know..looks like I forgot to clean my ear today (grin)
(hmmm..interesting start)
Me: oh ok. you know it took a couple of years for it to go from 8000 to 20000 and only a few months to drop back to 8000 levels. Its so volatile.
the woman: what are you talking about?
Me: ahh..theee SENSEX.
the woman: oh ya..they show it on CNBC TV-19 channel all the time know?
Me: thts CNBC-TV '18' .. not 19..he he
the woman: Oh !...actually i always watch channel number 19 in my house which has Star Plus..little confusion ashte.
Me: Yes CNBC-TV 18 is a great channel for learning about investments...they provide a lot of information on current market situations, which sectors to invest and all.
the woman: I know...I like all the red, green, yellow symbols they show..its so colorful know? My favourite host is tht guy who comes for Taking Stock show..he is sooo cute.
Me: Yeess..he is. So, have you made any investments recently?
the woman: Vicky...did you forget to tell me something ? (wink)
Me: ahhh..I donno..I mean...did I?? (scared look)
the woman: you have become so insensitive...you are so boring.
(ok..bloody I have no idea what I have to say...I have to take a chance)
Me: That's a lovely earring ! matches very well with your top and !
the woman: thaaaaaaaaaankkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! you are sooooo sweet...i knew you would notice it
(what a close call...thank my guardian angels)
Me: ha..i knew it all along..was just playing you.
the woman: my boyfriend bought it for my birthday (wink)
Me: that's nice...you are very luck to have someone who cares.
the woman: no..he is lucky to have me!
(yeah rite !)
Me: So...about the investments..have you made any?
the woman: yeah I have..I bought a couple of pairs of shoes from Mochi last month. I also bought 5 shirts from Mango ! you know Mango know? thts my favourite..they have such good collection. you should get one for your girlfriend !..Vicky do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No I am talking about investment in the stock market .. not shopping!
the woman: watever..I have invested in commodities..its all the same..atleast I get something for the money I lost...and you dint answer my question (wink)
Me: well thts not important.
the woman: it is to me..why have you become like this? (like what !!!)...you were so open open in college. now you all secrety secrety. what is there to hide..i told you about me know..I
(I had to cut her here)
Me: No I dont.
the woman: ooooohhhhh...dont worry..you will find someone.
Me: I am not worried..thanks anyway.
Me: you know talking about investments...do you know this guy called Warren Buffett...he is a self made billionaire by purely investing in growing companies.
the woman: ohhh...you know I have to tell you about this lunch buffet in Royal Orchid..we went last week and it was amaaaazing. Ha ha..you know my project lead was hitting on me during lunch..it was sooo wierd you know. oh god men in my team are so desperate, they keep looking at me. there is one guy from Kerala who is married and still he looks at me !..the other guy
Me: Do you want to order something else?
the woman: ok.
Me: what do you want?
the woman: hmmmm...you only choose !
(I wonder how women so effortlessly transfers responsibility to men and also effortlessly appraise them on performance)
Me: Ok..how about Choco Walnut Brownie with ice cream? We can share.
the woman: ohh..you want to share! (wink)
Me: well you can have complete if you want (straight face with a hint of smile)
the woman: you are so not romantic Vicky...what happened to you?
(I have been reduced to insensitive, boring and unromantic single guy in a span of 15 minutes..so much for letting the steam out of my head !)
Me: well...I thought you intended pun when you said about sharing...so just wanted to make sure..but we can still go ahead and share it.
the woman: OK !
(phew)
Me: I am thinking about investing in Bharti Airtel since its share prices have come down. Also, they are coming up with DTH service which has a huge growth potential in India..can make good amount of money in a couple of years.
the woman: why do you want to invest in Airtel...its network is not reliable.
(finally I got her talking sense !!!)
Me: that's a good point !
the woman: thanks (obviously thrilled !)
the woman: sometimes its so irritating..last nite my boyfriend and I were talking all naughty naughty and the network kept cutting us out. I was so pissed...I thought someone must be hearing to what we were saying..blah blah
(well..the choco walnut brownie was still to come and she was thinking about ordering another latte..looks like it was going to be a loooong afternoon..)
Me: what does you boyfriend do?
the woman: he works in Bosch... he has also been to Germany !..how was Germany Vicky..you dint tell me anything about it at all..how mean !
Me: it was great...so does your boyfriend invest?
the woman: I am his biggest investment !
Me: you are surely a winner...who wouldnt want to invest in you (wink)
(now now..dont blame me for flirting here a bit...I was merely trying to improve my badly damaged image a bit)
the woman: shuuuttt uppppp ! (full smiling and blushing)
(see this is a strategy i learnt from a friend. If you find yourself with a woman who keeps talking and you are bored, give her a compliment. She will then stop talking and wants you to do all the talking from then on !!! I had never tried it before but there was no better time than this !)
Me: you know you should ask your boyfriend to invest all the euros in market now and make money in a year or so...you can then go take vacations in Thailand or Maldives or someting..I am sure he would love to take you there (yeah yeah..i am still riding the compliment wave)
the woman: really !
(like i said, by now she should have started talking about maldives and how her friend enjoyed the scuba diving...but nooo..she wants me to talk !)
Me: yeah...identify the sectors which you can follow like technology or auto industry, keep up with the latest news and invest money where you can grow easily..its not too tough. Even I just started off and trying out stuff and its fun really.
the woman: hmmm...I will talk to him...i like going to Maldives !
Me: you surely do dont you ! do you know someone who does these investing? I would like to learn more and stuff.
the woman: nooo...but i know a travel agent who arranges trips to Maldives, Thailand and all...you know my friend went to Australia last year with her husband..they had so much fun in Syndey...Oh goood you should listen to this..
(my friend never told me that the compliment effect lasts only a few seconds..the choco walnut brownie had arrived and I gave up on my investment strategy discussion then..I just dug into the brownie that we shared..she took only a couple of bites and talked about its calories for another 15 minutes..I was hoping someone would give me a call that I can use as an excuse to get out but nothing like that happened. Over time, she also said I am not a good listener, I am too sleepy and I need a new hair style)
Disclaimer: this story is purely fictional and just another sunday afternoon's imagination. If it resembles any person or real life event, well its expected as I would have been present there listening or overheard across the table.
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