"look into my eyes..you will see..what you mean to me" !

I really saw it happening for the first time with my friend which left me reeling in disbelief. He is one of my childhood buddies who had come down to India for a 3 week visit from the US. I asked him how he could do such a thing to which he said its very common in the US. He also said "Its every man's right to satisfy his needs". I was left in this eternal state of shock, shame and curiosity. For sure every man in mid-twenties has his needs but to satisfy them in such ways was profound to say the least. Somewhere deep inside I also wanted to satisfy my curiosity.


I met this man on a saturday evening in one of those cross roads in Jayanagar and told him what I wanted. He looked at me and asked "First time sir?".
Deeply embarrassed at being asked such a question, I said yes and he could make out the tension on my face. He calmed me down saying I have approached the right person and he only delivers the best and the safest. He said the best ones are going to cost half a grand and a week to arrange. I contemplated whether all this was worth half a grand. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with thoughts on what I was about to do, images of my youth, images of my parents and what they had taught me as a child, the concept of right and wrong, the great Indian traditions and so on. I felt like walking away with shame but the curiosity was too much to hold back and I shook his hands. He asked to return a week later to the same place.


I was waiting with my car for the man at the agreed place. I was never so tensed and was sweating profusely when he came and asked "ready to change your life sir?". I muttered something under my breath and handed him the cash. I made her sit at the back of my car and drove away from that place as fast as I could. Still under shock, I was not sure what to do next. I kept looking at her in the mirror and hoped she would say something but she never even uttered a word. Why would she anyway. That was not part of the deal. A talking one would probably cost a grand and I was in no mood to have a conversation anyway. I was contemplating whether to go home with her or to my friends place. After paying half a grand, I decided it was worth to be taken home.


I dragged her inside so that the neighbours wouldn't catch me and made her sit on a chair in my room. She just sat there all innocent, staring straight ahead and waiting for me to make the move. I wanted to call my friend up for some advice but decided against it. I did not want him to think that I dint know what to do. I mean its embarrassing if the word spread ! I would end up being the laughing-stock in my circles. But to tell you the truth, I dint know where to begin. After washing myself up, I slowly approached her. She was indeed beautiful. I took her in my arms and started to remove the outer clothing with my trembling hands. She was still speechless and just let me do whatever I wanted. She was soft and suttle inside and I was scared that my rough hands would hurt her. I was trying to be smooth but my trembling hands were making a mess out of the situation. I finally released her of all the protections, lifted her up and brought her near my face. With one swift move, I opened my eyes wide and placed her inside it perfectly. I did it !!! I finally migrated to contact lenses !


Amen !

Me, the woman and investment strategy !

You know all this sudden economic crisis and financial recession was making me depressed and I wanted to let some steam out of my head. So, one fine afternoon in a coffee day, I caught up with my old friend and discussed 'the financial crisis and investment strategy'.

Me: Did you see the latest SENSEX rally in the stock exchange?

the woman: What !...they had SAME SEX rally in the stock exchange??? Did they show on TV?

Me: no no...S.E.N.S.E.X rally...you know one of the financial indicators in India.

the woman: oh .. he he..of course i know..looks like I forgot to clean my ear today (grin)
(hmmm..interesting start)

Me: oh ok. you know it took a couple of years for it to go from 8000 to 20000 and only a few months to drop back to 8000 levels. Its so volatile.

the woman: what are you talking about?

Me: ahh..theee SENSEX.

the woman: oh ya..they show it on CNBC TV-19 channel all the time know?

Me: thts CNBC-TV '18' .. not 19..he he

the woman: Oh !...actually i always watch channel number 19 in my house which has Star Plus..little confusion ashte.

Me: Yes CNBC-TV 18 is a great channel for learning about investments...they provide a lot of information on current market situations, which sectors to invest and all.

the woman: I know...I like all the red, green, yellow symbols they show..its so colorful know? My favourite host is tht guy who comes for Taking Stock show..he is sooo cute.

Me: Yeess..he is. So, have you made any investments recently?

the woman: Vicky...did you forget to tell me something ? (wink)

Me: ahhh..I donno..I mean...did I?? (scared look)

the woman: you have become so insensitive...you are so boring.

(ok..bloody I have no idea what I have to say...I have to take a chance)

Me: That's a lovely earring ! matches very well with your top and !

the woman: thaaaaaaaaaankkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! you are sooooo sweet...i knew you would notice it

(what a close call...thank my guardian angels)

Me: ha..i knew it all along..was just playing you.

the woman: my boyfriend bought it for my birthday (wink)

Me: that's nice...you are very luck to have someone who cares.

the woman: no..he is lucky to have me!
(yeah rite !)

Me: So...about the investments..have you made any?

the woman: yeah I have..I bought a couple of pairs of shoes from Mochi last month. I also bought 5 shirts from Mango ! you know Mango know? thts my favourite..they have such good collection. you should get one for your girlfriend !..Vicky do you have a girlfriend?

Me: No I am talking about investment in the stock market .. not shopping!

the woman: watever..I have invested in commodities..its all the same..atleast I get something for the money I lost...and you dint answer my question (wink)

Me: well thts not important.

the woman: it is to me..why have you become like this? (like what !!!)...you were so open open in college. now you all secrety secrety. what is there to hide..i told you about me know..I

(I had to cut her here)
Me: No I dont.

the woman: ooooohhhhh...dont worry..you will find someone.

Me: I am not worried..thanks anyway.

Me: you know talking about investments...do you know this guy called Warren Buffett...he is a self made billionaire by purely investing in growing companies.

the woman: ohhh...you know I have to tell you about this lunch buffet in Royal Orchid..we went last week and it was amaaaazing. Ha ha..you know my project lead was hitting on me during lunch..it was sooo wierd you know. oh god men in my team are so desperate, they keep looking at me. there is one guy from Kerala who is married and still he looks at me !..the other guy

Me: Do you want to order something else?

the woman: ok.

Me: what do you want?

the woman: hmmmm...you only choose !
(I wonder how women so effortlessly transfers responsibility to men and also effortlessly appraise them on performance)

Me: Ok..how about Choco Walnut Brownie with ice cream? We can share.

the woman: ohh..you want to share! (wink)

Me: well you can have complete if you want (straight face with a hint of smile)

the woman: you are so not romantic Vicky...what happened to you?
(I have been reduced to insensitive, boring and unromantic single guy in a span of 15 minutes..so much for letting the steam out of my head !)

Me: well...I thought you intended pun when you said about sharing...so just wanted to make sure..but we can still go ahead and share it.

the woman: OK !
(phew)

Me: I am thinking about investing in Bharti Airtel since its share prices have come down. Also, they are coming up with DTH service which has a huge growth potential in India..can make good amount of money in a couple of years.

the woman: why do you want to invest in Airtel...its network is not reliable.
(finally I got her talking sense !!!)

Me: that's a good point !

the woman: thanks (obviously thrilled !)

the woman: sometimes its so irritating..last nite my boyfriend and I were talking all naughty naughty and the network kept cutting us out. I was so pissed...I thought someone must be hearing to what we were saying..blah blah
(well..the choco walnut brownie was still to come and she was thinking about ordering another latte..looks like it was going to be a loooong afternoon..)

Me: what does you boyfriend do?

the woman: he works in Bosch... he has also been to Germany !..how was Germany Vicky..you dint tell me anything about it at all..how mean !

Me: it was great...so does your boyfriend invest?

the woman: I am his biggest investment !

Me: you are surely a winner...who wouldnt want to invest in you (wink)
(now now..dont blame me for flirting here a bit...I was merely trying to improve my badly damaged image a bit)

the woman: shuuuttt uppppp ! (full smiling and blushing)
(see this is a strategy i learnt from a friend. If you find yourself with a woman who keeps talking and you are bored, give her a compliment. She will then stop talking and wants you to do all the talking from then on !!! I had never tried it before but there was no better time than this !)

Me: you know you should ask your boyfriend to invest all the euros in market now and make money in a year or so...you can then go take vacations in Thailand or Maldives or someting..I am sure he would love to take you there (yeah yeah..i am still riding the compliment wave)

the woman: really !
(like i said, by now she should have started talking about maldives and how her friend enjoyed the scuba diving...but nooo..she wants me to talk !)

Me: yeah...identify the sectors which you can follow like technology or auto industry, keep up with the latest news and invest money where you can grow easily..its not too tough. Even I just started off and trying out stuff and its fun really.

the woman: hmmm...I will talk to him...i like going to Maldives !

Me: you surely do dont you ! do you know someone who does these investing? I would like to learn more and stuff.

the woman: nooo...but i know a travel agent who arranges trips to Maldives, Thailand and all...you know my friend went to Australia last year with her husband..they had so much fun in Syndey...Oh goood you should listen to this..

(my friend never told me that the compliment effect lasts only a few seconds..the choco walnut brownie had arrived and I gave up on my investment strategy discussion then..I just dug into the brownie that we shared..she took only a couple of bites and talked about its calories for another 15 minutes..I was hoping someone would give me a call that I can use as an excuse to get out but nothing like that happened. Over time, she also said I am not a good listener, I am too sleepy and I need a new hair style)

Disclaimer: this story is purely fictional and just another sunday afternoon's imagination. If it resembles any person or real life event, well its expected as I would have been present there listening or overheard across the table.

fluttering freedom...an abstract thought !

Hello..my name's Vivian Debonaire and here's the story of the most wonderful week in my life..

It was a bright sunday afternoon during the wonderful month of August, the air was crisp and filled with smell of Lavender from a nearby garden. I was relaxing on my favourite leaf that I call home when I saw her for the first time. She came flying in and settled on a leaf in the next plant. She had the most beautiful wings which were bright red and blue and perfectly curved tentacles that I have ever seen. I had lost sense of myself and was looking at her when she turned around and caught my eye. The sparkle in her deep green eyes made my heart skip a beat and made me lose balance when she said 'Are you ok?' I wanted to say something but could not form words and was staring at her with mouth wide open. She was quitely looking for a while, gave a smile and turned around to clean her leaf...I fell on my back and felt as if someone had shot an arrow through my heart. I regained composure and ever so lightly tapped her wings with my tentacles and said 'Hi' and she said 'Phew...finally..I thought you were dumb'. I said 'Oh no..my name is Vivian Debonaire and I am single' (wat am I saying !!!...why did I say about being single...man !)
She said 'uh..Debonaire?'
'Yeah .. Debonaire..oh but got nothing to do with that book .. he he' (Wat am I saying !!!..stop this)
'oookkkk'
She said 'My name is Sarah and I dont discuss private life with strangers' and gave me a sarcastic look with a grin.

Ok now I have to say something smart...cmon think think..damn nothing's coming to my head. Could we have run out of conversation so quickly? Had I turned her off by my stupid name joke and announcing my relationship status?What? She simply sat there half-smiling at me.

I said 'So you must be new around here...havnt seen you around'

She said 'So you know every girl around here is it?' maintaining her half-smile.

Why am I putting up with this? She thought i was dumb and now thinks i am a romeo.

I said 'Do you know who I am?' and she said 'Are you so important that I should know?'

I said 'My great grandfather was the head of the tribe and lived on this plant and has been inherited all the way'

She said 'So the not-so-great grandson dint have to work to find a home !' still maintaining half-smile.

That's it I can't take this anymore and told her that I am taking off for a while.

flutter flutter.

I kept thinking about her and could not get her off my mind. Her beautiful green eyes and bright wings kept coming back and I had to do something. That evening I went to catch up with my friend Rado and told him my situation.

I said 'Man she's beautiful..I have never felt something like that before'

He said 'Dude looks like you are in love !'

I said 'Cmon man...do you really think its love? but I totally acted like a monkey on drugs...she must think I am a fool..I have screwed it up dude'
He said 'ok..lets go have a drink' and we went to our favourite flower half a mile away whose nectar gave strange new highs.

flutter flutter.

Over drinks he said 'Dude why don't you talk to her again and find out more about her. Since she just moved in, maybe you can give her a gift'.

I said 'Man my brain switches off and does not produce words when I am looking at her'

He said 'yeah i know dude..I heard these humans do not have this problem..they have things like messengers and social networking sites that they use to talk to gals..sounds so simple man'

I said 'Damn humans..they are just too smart...we flies gotta do the old school style. Thanks anyway man. I will figure something out'

flutter flutter.

The next day I collected petals from my favourite flowers and made a small flower out of it for her. I couldnt understand why I was doing all this. My mind was simply turned off and I was guided by this strange inner feeling. I was nervous and excited at the same time. After giving my tentacles an extra shape to appear macho, I waited for her to wake up.

I said 'Good morning ! look I made something for you !'

She said 'Ohhh...I see the man's sensitive and got style !' with a cocky look.

I said 'Sorry about yesterday...I guess I was a little nervous and so wanted to make it up'

She said 'Little nervous ! .. you looked like you never saw a girl before...but I kinda liked the way you were looking at me !'

Man things were finally looking up. I secretly thanked Rado and decided to step it up.

I said 'uh...ummm...you know I was thinkin....'

She said 'Yeeeeesssssss'

I said 'uh..donno how to put it...ummmm...was thinkin if we could..' (man the words the words...damn the words are not coming ..help !!!)

She said 'So where will you take me?'

Man was she smart or what ! Why is it happening for whatever is happenening? Was Rado right when he said I am in love?

I said 'There's a new flower which has just blossomed. Why dont we try it out?' She said 'I'd love to !'

flutter flutter.

So there we were sucking on the sweet nectar and she asked 'So tell me about yourself'.
I said 'Well I started off as a caterpillar like we all do. I was however stuck on the wall of a bathroom in a house'

She said 'Oh !...you were born in a bathroom...'bathroom boy'..ha ha ha '
I said 'well it was not so bad after all...I could see a lot of adult stuff (wink wink)'

She was just staring now and I cursed under my breath and said 'aaa..i mean...u know...well .. he he'

I had to get a hold of myself...I had to tell her the truth.

I said 'Sarah...I know I am talking like a fool with you. I really dont know why myself. When I am with you, my mind just acts crazy I guess.I am really sorry if you are embarassed. I will try to get a hold of my feelings'

She just looked at me with her ever so sweet half-smile, winked and started sucking the nectar. I just knew it was time to tell her.We headed back home and on the way I said 'There's a flower bud just next to the one we went today. Tommorow morning, it will open up at sunrise.I want you to be there when it happens. I have a surprise for you'

The next morning before sunrise Sarah was near the flower bud waiting impatiently for the sunrise. Far at the horizon, faint light finally started appearing and Sarah grew ever more impatient. The first rays hit her and she felt the warmth against the cold morning. As the sun slowly started to rise in the horizon, the flower bud slowly started opening its petals one by one. Sarah was transfixed at this amazing sight. When the bud finally opened up, what she saw brought a tear of joy in her eyes. Right in the centre was the most beautiful ring that she had ever seen. I flew behind her and ever so lightly tapped her wings with my tentacles. She turned around and I said 'Sarah...I aaa..ummm..I ...'

She couldn't hold back her tears and said 'Bathroom boy...I do too !'

And so we lived happily ever after !
******Dedicated to my current favourite artist !*******