Billions of blue blistering barnacles...Thundering ..err...Birds!

"Happy Thumping sir"...what!!! did I hear it right...did he just say.. "Happy Humping"!!! who talks like that..they are not throwing in the plastic free with it are they!. I looked at the mechanic with a startled look and he gave an all knowing look with a grin...what does he mean by it?..Does he know what I am thinking. I just stared and I guess he could see confusion written all over my face and said "Happy THUMPING sir"..oh Thump..phew.

Thump Thump...gotta remember that..must be the secret code...I turned around and saw another bloke idling his bike. "Nice thump" and he said "Thanks man...got my cast iron tuned to cancel the vibrations...the t shaped exhaust now compresses the outflow to produce the definitive thump enhanced by the wheel pad". I was just staring at his leather boots by now thinkin what could I say to something I really dint understand and still appear cool enuf to thump. Looked up, quivered my lips, made the wolf sign and jus nodded...he nodded too!! ha ha ha...oh man..he nodded! I was makin progress already!..wow!!!...ahem..

I was about to walk away when he asked "So which RE do you ride"...oh no...not another jargon..makin a fair guess said "TBTS" and he replied "ah..you are one of the new generation...welcome aboard...". I walked away makin mental notes: leather boots, leather jacket, tatoos ..no tatoos..too painful, harsh voice, no smile...I can handle that..

I walked back to the mechanic who was by now convinced I was not upto it. He had got another greased up friend of his next to him who handed me the keys and asked me to 'feel the ride'..alright..stay calm..'feel the ride'..hmmmm...I ran my hands from the tank till the edge of the seat and said "feels good"...blank stares...alright alright..settle down..I can handle this...so I sat on the bike and turned the keys and hit the self starter...the two mechanics stared at each other with absolute shock on their faces...by now I knew I had done the gravest mistake...what what...one of them turned around and switched off the engine and said 'kick'. Did I buy the bike with his money or mine...whatever...two against one was not a good proposition...so I kicked and the 'ride' lurched ahead like a horse on viagra...OH MY GOD...END OF THE WORLD...ARMAGEDDON..shivering by now, turned to the mechanic who reminded me of the high school principal ... "put it to neutral ... 'sir' "...this is hell...I can feel it..so I set it to neutral and kicked and the ride came to life...couldn't help but smile and saw the mechanics smile back as well...wow...it really does bring people together..turned the throttle and felt the bike shake...'take her for a ride sir...feel the ride'...ok boss..if you ask, I can even lick your boots clean...anyways...turned the throttle once more, stared ahead and made a mental sketch of the path I was going to ride..ok..no stones, no people, no cows...looks good..lets go..but wait...what's the gear combination in this one...too afraid to ask my master of such trivial questions, I put it to first gear somehow and made my way along the path safely and parked the bike back next to my master...did I pass the test master...am I worthy of possessing her..eh..he handed over the papers and as a final parting words said 'Welcome to the royal enfield community sir...ride safe'...now that felt good..

So I thumped along the road maintaining 40 kph and letting everyone pass me...one girl behind her father looked back..now that has never happened!! I felt the father accelerated to get away..I also accelerated but my master's words 'First 1000 kms, don't drive above 40' struck me and I had to slow down...she turned back ahead and vanished...who cares...I am the thump now man...next I parked at a signal and let the engine run (the first kick's psychological bruise still had not worn out)..young kid in the next car put his head out and said 'thud thud thud'..before I could smile, his mother pulled him inside, barked something in malyali and brought the glass up...what the hell was that..what's with mallus and bullets..thought its the best bike to carry their coconuts around !...well its been a crazy hour afterall. Diagnally across the mallus, two gals were on a scooty lookin bored...I turned the throttle again almost full and one of them turned back...I was now talkin the secret language of love!!..man this is great.

Like any good Indian family boy, I first wanted to go to Ganesha temple and get the puja done...so I made my way slowly getting used to the ride and parked in front of Dodda Ganesha temple in bull temple road..there was maddening crowd and I was trying to squeeze in my bike when one aunty shouted "Ishtu dhod dhod bike na thogondbidthare eegin kalad hudugru..sumne namgella thondre...mundemaklu..thuuuu" (literal translation: such big big bikes buy nowadays youth...trouble for us......spit spit)...not able to control my anger due to immense humiliation so far, I shouted "Nimgintha anthu dappakkilla bidi ee biku...nimganda henge handle maadtharo nimna...ha ha" (literal translation: bike is not as fat as you...don't know how your husband handles you...ha ha). Aunty made her face twist in unimaginable angles, turned and walked away cursing under her breath...elated at the triumph at the battle of the sexes, I bought flowers and lemon and waited for the priest. The humble priest looked at the bike once and at me and said something under his breath and started some puja...he showered the bike with Arshana and Kunkuma and I was thinking man its dirtying the bike..dont do it!!. He asked me to place two lemons under each tyre and drive over it. So I placed the lemon neatly under each tyre, started the bike, put the first gear and slowly tried to drive over but the bike switched off. The crowd behind, mainly taxi drivers, laughed...dammn..what more should I go through. I started again and tried to drive over but the lemons rolled off to one side. By now the taxi drivers were getting worked up and a huge groan "Ayyyyaaaaa...yavonri yunu" (literal translation: Ayyyyyaaaa...who's this I say). I turned back and one of them lifted his hand and pointed at me and shook his head as if telling me this is your last chance or else. So ran behind the lemons, picked it up and placed neatly under each tyre. By now I was getting into the zone..the noise around seem to vanish and there was absolute silence...everything seemed to move in slow motion..held the handle bars and lifted one leg high up in the air and sat on the bike. Then looked at lord Ganesha once and started the bike to a thundering roar..clutch, gear, accelerator and voila!..I had squeezed the juice out of the damn lemons...I had reached the high point when one of the drivers hit on my back and said "Aith aithu...yethu bike na...saku manege hogu" (literal translation: ok ok...lift the bike..enough go home)...being brought back to the harsh reality, I drove home for an eventful start...
***Story is fictional but I did buy a Bullet Thunderbird :) ***

The great walls of life...

While I write this I am extremely irritated, pissed off, angry and just about any other synonym you can think of..I am irritated about our ways of lives in India and just about anywhere in the world..our way of building boundaries around ourselves and others.From the time we are born, we are given boundaries...we are given a name, a religion, a caste and even a bloody subcaste. We are given a god to pray, a bunch of good-for-nothing relatives called family and even given a rule book on how to lead an ideal life. From an open and free world that you are born into, by
the time you reach your senses, you are given this small space in which you 'should' live, earn, pray, be satisfied and finally die.

Some may argue that all the boundaries form our identity but today I call it robbery of our freedom of choice. All is well until the day you try to break a boundary when all hell's gonna break loose. All your good-for-nothing relatives and just about anybody in the boundary will jump up and down with their fingers up their .. well..we all think differently man...I believe its natural for everyone to want to break a boundary or two as they learn more about themselves and the world. When I think about it, I am not irritated about the boundaries as such; they are nothing but an average of all the ideal ways of leading a life...what I do not like is the lack of freedom to deviate from the average. Why are people so afraid to break their boundaries? Is this not how progress happens...why are people happy to stick to the 'rules' set down by others? why don't we let our children make their decisions and choose the life they want? Why?

One reason that stands out for me is the fear of losing. This is the single most dominant reason why people cannot and will not allow to break boundries.Fear of losing family, fear of losing money, fear of losing social respect, the list is endless. The fear of breaking away from the rules to tread into unknown waters takes a lot of will which most people lack. I can't blame them though but have to blame their upbrining. As a kid, you are always told to not do things rather than try and experience things. You are told not to jump, not to go near water, not to touch the dog, not to run, not to blah bhah blah...the result, fear becomes a part of your DNA.

Humans are primarily community animals and not independant creatures. We need communities to survive. We need constant human interaction to lead our lives.Community by definition is group of people driven by a common purpose towards a common goal. The boundaries unfortunately are the default communities you are assigned to when you are born. Smaller the community higher the security and a sense of belonging and hence higher the number of boundaries. So, we need boundaries then. But, the default boundaries cannot completely provide what it promises, a purpose, a goal and a sense of belonging. These can be obtained
only when you break the default boundaries and build your own boundaries; go out and find communities in whose purpose you truly belive in, in whose goals you want to reach and in whose people you feel a sense of belonging; go out and create your own communities that people want to use as their boundaries.

What I want atleast our generation and the generations to come is to gather the will and strength to break away unrealistic smaller boundaries and create broader communities with a higher purpose. Do not be afraid to take risks in finding your communities or creating new ones. Do not have the fear of
losing...in life sometimes you are ahead, sometimes you are not..in the end, the race is with yourself. Don't be judgemental, accept differences and lead a fuller life.

I feel better having thrown my thoughts out but quite frankly I am not sure what I was getting at. All I know and understand is that default boundaries have started to suffocate me a bit.

Single gays..oops..guys and valentine days !

Ah..being single !...the feeling of freedom is unmistakable..the relationship status which allows you to booze till end of time without getting disturbed on phone every 15 minutes, which allows YOU to buy anything YOU want till YOUR money runs out, which allows you to ruffle up your hair just so that you can feel the cold wind on the scalp, which allows you to drool at every gal on the road without remorse, which allows you to jump up and down when you are happy without being told to 'behave yourself', which allows you to look at every one with the same respect without being told 'dont ever talk to her'...or is it?

...picture this..the new year's eve is approaching and you see ads of parties everywhere..they are announcing on the radio, they hav big billboards everywhere and everyone's talking about the best party in town. So, you think why not I go for one of them and catch up with some of your other single friends (the ones who are not hav already bought couple passes to the party in speedzone you see) and make a grand plan..meet up at around 7 in the evening at someone's place, drive down to Nyk's lounge and party till midnight (somewhere deep inside you also hav this optimism that you will meet some gal in the party and live happily ever after..some of you who are a little dirty on top dont want to live happily ever after but only for that night !). So on the D day the plan is perfectly executed and there you are staring at the top floor of Nyk's with your best party shirt and newly bought Joop perfume. You see lots of 'babes' going into the club and already looking for the one you might get lucky with. So you go to the entrance and BANG ... the plan which has been executed perfectly so far just falls apart..the bouncer at the entrance says 'Couples Only'..so there you are heart-broken standing and looking at each other thinking wat to do now (you cant help but get the idea that you can announce yourselves as 'gay couples'...but being middle class desi's, you give up on such flamboyant ideas)...so you decide to try a pub instead and go to one on Church street and BANG..its the same story again ! everywhere you go, you are treated like having some sort of quarantine disease. Feeling extremely dejected, you head for a dhabha on Kanakapura road and there you are..4 or 5 single guys drinkin beer on a new year's eve.

Feb 1st: the first ad on radio throws you back to reality (after the horrible new year's night, you would have returned to normal life..in other words a life where you are thinking about making big in your project, meeting deadlines, travelling and generally spending lots of money on useless stuff)..the ad says 'buy diamonds to your loved ones this valentine...come to Asmi'. the feeling of loneliness returns and you just brush it aside saying to yourself 'wat the heck man...I am doing very well now..it doesn't matter'.

Feb 6th: by this time there are ads of valentine day everywhere...it starts consuming you and you are no longer strong..the project achievements, all the travel to US and Europe, all the bhav others are giving you suddenly feels like nothing. So, even though you appear as if everything's cool, you are thinking about wat to do on Feb 14th. So, you catch up with your single friends and generally bring up the topic of valentine day (you first want make sure that none of them have any plans !...i mean that would be disastrous...at times like these, you want to know that there are others of your clan). the guys are also trying to act cool like you and brush away the thoughts.

Feb 10th: you are thinking about the gals you have a remote chance of hitting out with. your other single friends start giving news about other single guys who have found someone in the meantime. you sit and bitch about them saying 'how can he get one da...I mean how did he do it'..well even though you know the answer you dont want to face it now ! you are feeling the pressure and every once in a while someone will ask about your plans for valentine day which adds more pressure..you curse under your breath and move on. Some of them try to show some sympathy and say 'How can you not have a Valentine !'. Now, dont underestimate this casual statement...wat you say next will decide whether this guy's gonna say that next year as well ! (face it man..wat you think anything's gonna be different next year..duh..you are born for this) I mean if he thinks you are good enuf to have a date this year, he bloody better think that next year as well...so you have to balance the fact that you are cool on one hand but did not find time to get a date 'this year' (it should appear as if only this year, you did not find a date...i told you its not simple !). So you start of saying 'Yeah man, I guess not so lucky THIS year' (don't forget to stress the word 'THIS')...then you say 'I also had some other travel plans which was cancelled at the last moment' (look man..sometimes you gotta lie ok..well its a globalized world ..wat might be a lie today might not be one tommorow..its like investing in stocks..you invest today to reap benefits tommorow !)...finally for the sucker punch 'well its ok you know..I am planning to spend some time with a friend who recently broke up' (see this will create curiosity in the other guy..he will leave thinking 'hmmm well this guy's not having a date but who is this friend??'... ;)))

Feb 13th: you have not found the courage to even ask the gal of her plans..you just let it be. Everytime you think about asking, purposefully you have made yourself busy and avoided the situation...on this day you tell yourself 'Oh man..I wish I wasn't so busy..I could have done something...anyways its ok, there's always next time'..don't get me wrong but you are feeling like a worm deep inside horse shit.

Feb 14th: there you are, the king of cool, stretched out on your sofa watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S showing episodes of valentine day...the episode ends with Rachael kissing Ross and you feel the unmistakable feeling of 'man it sucks' !

P.S: If you think this sucks, wait for the post 'Committed guys and valentine days'...like they say, grass always appear greener on the other side, any side !

"And the consolation prize goes to..." !

Well i am sure all of you must have received consolation prizes in your life...the ones designed to make you feel like a winner even after a pathetic loss, the ones you begin to believe so much in that you forget the passion of winning and settle in for mediocrity. Here's the list of most commonly received and deadliest consolation prizes in the world !
1. whatever happens, happens for good: this one is designed to serve multiple purposes. its the 4 by 4 among consolation prizes in that you can use it for off-roading as well as to cruise on highways. it gives the most underprepared, incompetant people a chance to feel like a winner. it also supresses feelings that otherwise could be used to break out of mediocrity. Here are the classic examples:
a. its the day before exams and you still cannot spell the subject completely. you open the book to only feel dejected and overwhelmed. you have two options: do a night out and cram in as much as possible or receive the consolation prize 'whatever happens, happens for good' and kick back and catch a movie
b. so you are in love with this person who is also a very good friend of yours. you share a lot of things and generally connect with each other better than with anyone else. one fine day, he/she comes to you and tells you that the parents are looking for someone to get married to. you have two options: muster up the courage to tell what you feel or receive the consolation prize 'whatever happens, happens for good' and dont do anything

2. its not about winning but participating: ah the great equalizer between winners and losers. the one that kills the spirit of winning and makes sure mediocrity thrives. Here's an example:
its a week away for the deadline for the innovation challenge in your company. your idea was selected coz it has a lot of potential. the week unfortunately looks busy as a lot of normal work needs to be finished. you have two options: dig in, find time, complete the idea before deadline or receive the consolation prize 'its not about winning but participating' and relax

3. there is always next time: ah the classic..the porche among consolation prizes. its so deadly that makes you believe that life gives you infinite opportunities and giving your best is just an option. here's an example:
you are given an opportunity to work out of Paris for 3 months. you discuss with friends and family who tell that the weather's going to be cold, there wont be any vegetarian food, you will feel lonely and miss home blah blah..being the sucker, you decide not to take it up. the other guy who decided to go for it comes back having a great time and plethora of experiences to share and you crib 'well there is always next time'.

4. failure is the stepping stone for success: i spent a while thinking whether this one's a consolation prize or a motivator and conclude that it can be a consolation prize. i believe that when you fail, you should know and realize that you failed fair and sqaure..there is no other truth to it. it is only when you understand truly why you failed you can plan to win next time. this consolation prize however acts like caffeine and gives you instant kick...instead of truly understanding why you are feeling low, you just gulp down coffee and feel better.

so STOP receiving consolation prizes... whatever happens, you make them happen, its all about winning, there is no next time and failure is not a stepping stone for success but a reality check. make the best use of every moment, stop settling for mediocrity and go for the kill.

P.S: this post is different from the other ones since its a little serious...i promise next one's gonna make you smile..until then, go for the win !

"look into my eyes..you will see..what you mean to me" !

I really saw it happening for the first time with my friend which left me reeling in disbelief. He is one of my childhood buddies who had come down to India for a 3 week visit from the US. I asked him how he could do such a thing to which he said its very common in the US. He also said "Its every man's right to satisfy his needs". I was left in this eternal state of shock, shame and curiosity. For sure every man in mid-twenties has his needs but to satisfy them in such ways was profound to say the least. Somewhere deep inside I also wanted to satisfy my curiosity.


I met this man on a saturday evening in one of those cross roads in Jayanagar and told him what I wanted. He looked at me and asked "First time sir?".
Deeply embarrassed at being asked such a question, I said yes and he could make out the tension on my face. He calmed me down saying I have approached the right person and he only delivers the best and the safest. He said the best ones are going to cost half a grand and a week to arrange. I contemplated whether all this was worth half a grand. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with thoughts on what I was about to do, images of my youth, images of my parents and what they had taught me as a child, the concept of right and wrong, the great Indian traditions and so on. I felt like walking away with shame but the curiosity was too much to hold back and I shook his hands. He asked to return a week later to the same place.


I was waiting with my car for the man at the agreed place. I was never so tensed and was sweating profusely when he came and asked "ready to change your life sir?". I muttered something under my breath and handed him the cash. I made her sit at the back of my car and drove away from that place as fast as I could. Still under shock, I was not sure what to do next. I kept looking at her in the mirror and hoped she would say something but she never even uttered a word. Why would she anyway. That was not part of the deal. A talking one would probably cost a grand and I was in no mood to have a conversation anyway. I was contemplating whether to go home with her or to my friends place. After paying half a grand, I decided it was worth to be taken home.


I dragged her inside so that the neighbours wouldn't catch me and made her sit on a chair in my room. She just sat there all innocent, staring straight ahead and waiting for me to make the move. I wanted to call my friend up for some advice but decided against it. I did not want him to think that I dint know what to do. I mean its embarrassing if the word spread ! I would end up being the laughing-stock in my circles. But to tell you the truth, I dint know where to begin. After washing myself up, I slowly approached her. She was indeed beautiful. I took her in my arms and started to remove the outer clothing with my trembling hands. She was still speechless and just let me do whatever I wanted. She was soft and suttle inside and I was scared that my rough hands would hurt her. I was trying to be smooth but my trembling hands were making a mess out of the situation. I finally released her of all the protections, lifted her up and brought her near my face. With one swift move, I opened my eyes wide and placed her inside it perfectly. I did it !!! I finally migrated to contact lenses !


Amen !

Me, the woman and investment strategy !

You know all this sudden economic crisis and financial recession was making me depressed and I wanted to let some steam out of my head. So, one fine afternoon in a coffee day, I caught up with my old friend and discussed 'the financial crisis and investment strategy'.

Me: Did you see the latest SENSEX rally in the stock exchange?

the woman: What !...they had SAME SEX rally in the stock exchange??? Did they show on TV?

Me: no no...S.E.N.S.E.X rally...you know one of the financial indicators in India.

the woman: oh .. he he..of course i know..looks like I forgot to clean my ear today (grin)
(hmmm..interesting start)

Me: oh ok. you know it took a couple of years for it to go from 8000 to 20000 and only a few months to drop back to 8000 levels. Its so volatile.

the woman: what are you talking about?

Me: ahh..theee SENSEX.

the woman: oh ya..they show it on CNBC TV-19 channel all the time know?

Me: thts CNBC-TV '18' .. not 19..he he

the woman: Oh !...actually i always watch channel number 19 in my house which has Star Plus..little confusion ashte.

Me: Yes CNBC-TV 18 is a great channel for learning about investments...they provide a lot of information on current market situations, which sectors to invest and all.

the woman: I know...I like all the red, green, yellow symbols they show..its so colorful know? My favourite host is tht guy who comes for Taking Stock show..he is sooo cute.

Me: Yeess..he is. So, have you made any investments recently?

the woman: Vicky...did you forget to tell me something ? (wink)

Me: ahhh..I donno..I mean...did I?? (scared look)

the woman: you have become so insensitive...you are so boring.

(ok..bloody I have no idea what I have to say...I have to take a chance)

Me: That's a lovely earring ! matches very well with your top and !

the woman: thaaaaaaaaaankkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! you are sooooo sweet...i knew you would notice it

(what a close call...thank my guardian angels)

Me: ha..i knew it all along..was just playing you.

the woman: my boyfriend bought it for my birthday (wink)

Me: that's nice...you are very luck to have someone who cares.

the woman: no..he is lucky to have me!
(yeah rite !)

Me: So...about the investments..have you made any?

the woman: yeah I have..I bought a couple of pairs of shoes from Mochi last month. I also bought 5 shirts from Mango ! you know Mango know? thts my favourite..they have such good collection. you should get one for your girlfriend !..Vicky do you have a girlfriend?

Me: No I am talking about investment in the stock market .. not shopping!

the woman: watever..I have invested in commodities..its all the same..atleast I get something for the money I lost...and you dint answer my question (wink)

Me: well thts not important.

the woman: it is to me..why have you become like this? (like what !!!)...you were so open open in college. now you all secrety secrety. what is there to hide..i told you about me know..I

(I had to cut her here)
Me: No I dont.

the woman: ooooohhhhh...dont worry..you will find someone.

Me: I am not worried..thanks anyway.

Me: you know talking about investments...do you know this guy called Warren Buffett...he is a self made billionaire by purely investing in growing companies.

the woman: ohhh...you know I have to tell you about this lunch buffet in Royal Orchid..we went last week and it was amaaaazing. Ha ha..you know my project lead was hitting on me during lunch..it was sooo wierd you know. oh god men in my team are so desperate, they keep looking at me. there is one guy from Kerala who is married and still he looks at me !..the other guy

Me: Do you want to order something else?

the woman: ok.

Me: what do you want?

the woman: hmmmm...you only choose !
(I wonder how women so effortlessly transfers responsibility to men and also effortlessly appraise them on performance)

Me: Ok..how about Choco Walnut Brownie with ice cream? We can share.

the woman: ohh..you want to share! (wink)

Me: well you can have complete if you want (straight face with a hint of smile)

the woman: you are so not romantic Vicky...what happened to you?
(I have been reduced to insensitive, boring and unromantic single guy in a span of 15 minutes..so much for letting the steam out of my head !)

Me: well...I thought you intended pun when you said about sharing...so just wanted to make sure..but we can still go ahead and share it.

the woman: OK !
(phew)

Me: I am thinking about investing in Bharti Airtel since its share prices have come down. Also, they are coming up with DTH service which has a huge growth potential in India..can make good amount of money in a couple of years.

the woman: why do you want to invest in Airtel...its network is not reliable.
(finally I got her talking sense !!!)

Me: that's a good point !

the woman: thanks (obviously thrilled !)

the woman: sometimes its so irritating..last nite my boyfriend and I were talking all naughty naughty and the network kept cutting us out. I was so pissed...I thought someone must be hearing to what we were saying..blah blah
(well..the choco walnut brownie was still to come and she was thinking about ordering another latte..looks like it was going to be a loooong afternoon..)

Me: what does you boyfriend do?

the woman: he works in Bosch... he has also been to Germany !..how was Germany Vicky..you dint tell me anything about it at all..how mean !

Me: it was great...so does your boyfriend invest?

the woman: I am his biggest investment !

Me: you are surely a winner...who wouldnt want to invest in you (wink)
(now now..dont blame me for flirting here a bit...I was merely trying to improve my badly damaged image a bit)

the woman: shuuuttt uppppp ! (full smiling and blushing)
(see this is a strategy i learnt from a friend. If you find yourself with a woman who keeps talking and you are bored, give her a compliment. She will then stop talking and wants you to do all the talking from then on !!! I had never tried it before but there was no better time than this !)

Me: you know you should ask your boyfriend to invest all the euros in market now and make money in a year or so...you can then go take vacations in Thailand or Maldives or someting..I am sure he would love to take you there (yeah yeah..i am still riding the compliment wave)

the woman: really !
(like i said, by now she should have started talking about maldives and how her friend enjoyed the scuba diving...but nooo..she wants me to talk !)

Me: yeah...identify the sectors which you can follow like technology or auto industry, keep up with the latest news and invest money where you can grow easily..its not too tough. Even I just started off and trying out stuff and its fun really.

the woman: hmmm...I will talk to him...i like going to Maldives !

Me: you surely do dont you ! do you know someone who does these investing? I would like to learn more and stuff.

the woman: nooo...but i know a travel agent who arranges trips to Maldives, Thailand and all...you know my friend went to Australia last year with her husband..they had so much fun in Syndey...Oh goood you should listen to this..

(my friend never told me that the compliment effect lasts only a few seconds..the choco walnut brownie had arrived and I gave up on my investment strategy discussion then..I just dug into the brownie that we shared..she took only a couple of bites and talked about its calories for another 15 minutes..I was hoping someone would give me a call that I can use as an excuse to get out but nothing like that happened. Over time, she also said I am not a good listener, I am too sleepy and I need a new hair style)

Disclaimer: this story is purely fictional and just another sunday afternoon's imagination. If it resembles any person or real life event, well its expected as I would have been present there listening or overheard across the table.

fluttering freedom...an abstract thought !

Hello..my name's Vivian Debonaire and here's the story of the most wonderful week in my life..

It was a bright sunday afternoon during the wonderful month of August, the air was crisp and filled with smell of Lavender from a nearby garden. I was relaxing on my favourite leaf that I call home when I saw her for the first time. She came flying in and settled on a leaf in the next plant. She had the most beautiful wings which were bright red and blue and perfectly curved tentacles that I have ever seen. I had lost sense of myself and was looking at her when she turned around and caught my eye. The sparkle in her deep green eyes made my heart skip a beat and made me lose balance when she said 'Are you ok?' I wanted to say something but could not form words and was staring at her with mouth wide open. She was quitely looking for a while, gave a smile and turned around to clean her leaf...I fell on my back and felt as if someone had shot an arrow through my heart. I regained composure and ever so lightly tapped her wings with my tentacles and said 'Hi' and she said 'Phew...finally..I thought you were dumb'. I said 'Oh no..my name is Vivian Debonaire and I am single' (wat am I saying !!!...why did I say about being single...man !)
She said 'uh..Debonaire?'
'Yeah .. Debonaire..oh but got nothing to do with that book .. he he' (Wat am I saying !!!..stop this)
'oookkkk'
She said 'My name is Sarah and I dont discuss private life with strangers' and gave me a sarcastic look with a grin.

Ok now I have to say something smart...cmon think think..damn nothing's coming to my head. Could we have run out of conversation so quickly? Had I turned her off by my stupid name joke and announcing my relationship status?What? She simply sat there half-smiling at me.

I said 'So you must be new around here...havnt seen you around'

She said 'So you know every girl around here is it?' maintaining her half-smile.

Why am I putting up with this? She thought i was dumb and now thinks i am a romeo.

I said 'Do you know who I am?' and she said 'Are you so important that I should know?'

I said 'My great grandfather was the head of the tribe and lived on this plant and has been inherited all the way'

She said 'So the not-so-great grandson dint have to work to find a home !' still maintaining half-smile.

That's it I can't take this anymore and told her that I am taking off for a while.

flutter flutter.

I kept thinking about her and could not get her off my mind. Her beautiful green eyes and bright wings kept coming back and I had to do something. That evening I went to catch up with my friend Rado and told him my situation.

I said 'Man she's beautiful..I have never felt something like that before'

He said 'Dude looks like you are in love !'

I said 'Cmon man...do you really think its love? but I totally acted like a monkey on drugs...she must think I am a fool..I have screwed it up dude'
He said 'ok..lets go have a drink' and we went to our favourite flower half a mile away whose nectar gave strange new highs.

flutter flutter.

Over drinks he said 'Dude why don't you talk to her again and find out more about her. Since she just moved in, maybe you can give her a gift'.

I said 'Man my brain switches off and does not produce words when I am looking at her'

He said 'yeah i know dude..I heard these humans do not have this problem..they have things like messengers and social networking sites that they use to talk to gals..sounds so simple man'

I said 'Damn humans..they are just too smart...we flies gotta do the old school style. Thanks anyway man. I will figure something out'

flutter flutter.

The next day I collected petals from my favourite flowers and made a small flower out of it for her. I couldnt understand why I was doing all this. My mind was simply turned off and I was guided by this strange inner feeling. I was nervous and excited at the same time. After giving my tentacles an extra shape to appear macho, I waited for her to wake up.

I said 'Good morning ! look I made something for you !'

She said 'Ohhh...I see the man's sensitive and got style !' with a cocky look.

I said 'Sorry about yesterday...I guess I was a little nervous and so wanted to make it up'

She said 'Little nervous ! .. you looked like you never saw a girl before...but I kinda liked the way you were looking at me !'

Man things were finally looking up. I secretly thanked Rado and decided to step it up.

I said 'uh...ummm...you know I was thinkin....'

She said 'Yeeeeesssssss'

I said 'uh..donno how to put it...ummmm...was thinkin if we could..' (man the words the words...damn the words are not coming ..help !!!)

She said 'So where will you take me?'

Man was she smart or what ! Why is it happening for whatever is happenening? Was Rado right when he said I am in love?

I said 'There's a new flower which has just blossomed. Why dont we try it out?' She said 'I'd love to !'

flutter flutter.

So there we were sucking on the sweet nectar and she asked 'So tell me about yourself'.
I said 'Well I started off as a caterpillar like we all do. I was however stuck on the wall of a bathroom in a house'

She said 'Oh !...you were born in a bathroom...'bathroom boy'..ha ha ha '
I said 'well it was not so bad after all...I could see a lot of adult stuff (wink wink)'

She was just staring now and I cursed under my breath and said 'aaa..i mean...u know...well .. he he'

I had to get a hold of myself...I had to tell her the truth.

I said 'Sarah...I know I am talking like a fool with you. I really dont know why myself. When I am with you, my mind just acts crazy I guess.I am really sorry if you are embarassed. I will try to get a hold of my feelings'

She just looked at me with her ever so sweet half-smile, winked and started sucking the nectar. I just knew it was time to tell her.We headed back home and on the way I said 'There's a flower bud just next to the one we went today. Tommorow morning, it will open up at sunrise.I want you to be there when it happens. I have a surprise for you'

The next morning before sunrise Sarah was near the flower bud waiting impatiently for the sunrise. Far at the horizon, faint light finally started appearing and Sarah grew ever more impatient. The first rays hit her and she felt the warmth against the cold morning. As the sun slowly started to rise in the horizon, the flower bud slowly started opening its petals one by one. Sarah was transfixed at this amazing sight. When the bud finally opened up, what she saw brought a tear of joy in her eyes. Right in the centre was the most beautiful ring that she had ever seen. I flew behind her and ever so lightly tapped her wings with my tentacles. She turned around and I said 'Sarah...I aaa..ummm..I ...'

She couldn't hold back her tears and said 'Bathroom boy...I do too !'

And so we lived happily ever after !
******Dedicated to my current favourite artist !*******